Bit of a rant – ALIVE AND CREAKING

2025 – STILL HERE

I started this blog 12 years ago just after I left full time employment but have neglected it for several years – largely because I have been very busy running my own business as a funeral celebrant.

I’ve decided to revisit – and rename – the blog in 2025 as I am considerably older and have to accept that I am no longer a fit young 65 year old 😉 but a rather creaky 77 year old. Hopefully my mental faculties are still sharp (at least no-one has told me otherwise yet!)

So why have I made this decision? Largely because I constantly find things that people say or don’t say amusing and/or annoying and want to share them. Share with who -sorry, whom – you may ask? Perhaps with others of a similar vintage who can relate to these musings, or perhaps a whole new group of younger folk who have never thought about how us ancient ones actually used to be young and enthusiastic like them…

Let’s get the ball rolling by asking anyone reading this who is under 60 – when did you last compliment an older (60+) person on their appearance?

And to those over 60 – when did anyone (other than a spouse/partner) compliment you on your appearance and notice if you’ve changed your hairstyle?

My guess in both cases is ‘I can’t remember’. It seems that as we get older we become less and less visible. I still put on makeup every day, go to the hairdressers regularly and often change the style, keep up to date with fashion trends and try to buy ‘age appropriate’ (whatever that is!) versions of these – but I honestly can’t remember anyone ever commenting on how I look.

Some of you might think this is very shallow of me, and I realise that this mainly applies to us women – somehow men don’t seem to be as invisible…

I do all this so that I feel good about me, not for external gratification, but when you hear all those around you being complimented on a new outfit, new hairstyle etc. and nobody includes you, it can be quite depressing.

To me it implies that you are no longer visible. Your role in the world has diminished – and I’m not ready to be put on the scrap heap yet! I still want to contribute to the world around me. I may not have the energy of a 20 year old anymore, but my brain still functions – and I want to keep it working. I still have new ideas of things to do, I still want to work – I still want to contribute to my community. And as a further incentive, I need to earn an income to pay my bills as my pension just doesn’t cover it!

So, come on all us ‘seniors’ ( I actually HATE that word ) – it’s a new year so let’s all resolve to stay positive and BE SEEN. Are you with me?

Don’t Call Me ‘Dear’!

In a couple of years, I’ll be 70. No fanfare is necessary. As far as I’m aware, I still have most of my mental faculties, although my body sometimes feels past its best. So I resent it when staff in shops and cafes call me ‘‘dear’’. I am not their ‘dear’ – we don’t know one another – and I’m still perfectly capable of making my own decisions.

Why is it that when people see a few wrinkles, some grey or thinning hair, a bent body, that is all they see? And all they think is ‘old.’

There are lots of us ‘older folk’ out there who still work in responsible jobs, and with changes to the pension age in the UK there will be far more older people in the workforce in the future.

I remember thinking someone I worked with was old when they celebrated their 40^th birthday; so part of me understands their perspective, but I would never have called someone ‘dear’. I was taught to respect people and the word ‘dear’ in this context is so patronising!

I did once challenge someone in a café who called me ‘dear’; she replied with “I just wanted you to feel welcome ‘dear’”. I commented that prompt service and a warm smile would have done the job much better.

I know people in their 20s whom I would call old, and I recently met a 90-year-old who has all his faculties (as well as his own teeth and a full head of hair, albeit silver!), and I challenge anyone to call him ‘dear’ – they would get a right tongue- lashing!

None of us ever really think we’re going to get old – but it’s by far the better of the two options! I wish I did still have the energy I had when I was 20, but I don’t think I’d change anything else; I wouldn’t want to do it all again.

I just don’t want anyone to call me ‘dear’ – ever. Even if I met the man of my dreams tomorrow, he’d be out on his ear if he once called me ‘dear’.

So please – don’t call me ‘dear’….

Let’s reform supermarket queuing!

Standing in a supermarket queue, as most of us do on a regular basis, gives one time to think – mainly because someone in front is taking rather longer than is polite to pack and pay for their shopping.

After a particularly irritating delay in a recent queue, I came up with a couple of suggestions that supermarket managers may wish to consider…. read on!

1. At the head of each checkout have a LARGE sign saying ‘Please remember you will have to pay for your shopping, so please have payment ready’. How many times have you watched someone pack their shopping, chat to the checkout person and generally dither until they are told the amount due and suddenly go into shock as the realise they have to pay. Several minutes pass while they a) try to find the right card or b) count out the exact amount in 5p and 1p coins.. or c) rummage in their purse/wallet for a number of money off coupons which usually turn out to be out of date.

2. Have a separate checkout just for those customers who have packing OCD; those people who pack everything slowly, by size and brand – sometimes even alphabetically. Despite being offered help with packing by the person on checkout they insist on doing it themselves and carry on regardless of the growing queue behind them, each item being carefully examined and packed as if it were a fragile piece of glass!

I think the second suggestion could be a winner as it would bring together those people who suffer from packing OCD and they can offer one another support.

Any thoughts?

Not a morning person……

Why do people have a problem with those of us who aren’t full of the joys of spring early in the morning? I know I am far from being the only person who ‘doesn’t do’ mornings, but for all those who DO I just want to explain something….

If my curtains are still closed at 10 am you may think I am a lazy slut – but what you probably don’t know, because you were fast asleep, is that I was still up and about at 2 am. I enjoy staying up late as that’s when I seem to be my most creative. Any time after 10 pm I seem to come alive and the creative writing juices start to flow, or I decide to catch up on my reading. I have even been known to do some business finance stuff in the wee small hours. My brain LIKES the nighttime – not early mornings.

I have been told that if I went to bed earlier I would be more alert in the morning. Believe me, I have tried that, but I just lie there unable to sleep. I end up totally exhausted and rather crabby.

So please don’t judge me by the time my curtains open or close, and please don’t call me before 9 am unless it’s an emergency. I don’t take any notice of when you close your curtains and I wouldn’t dream of calling you after 9 pm unless I know you are a night owl like me.

Fed up with blame culture

I do so wish that politicians would stop blaming previous governments for everything that’s wrong and just get on with trying to fix things!

Pointing fingers and saying it’s someone else’s fault does nothing to resolve problems, but every politician seems to indulge in this practice. They are elected to run the country, so please guys, just get on and do it – or get out!